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A month ago I was getting ready to fly to Portland, OR to help my daughter and my two grandchildren move back to Colorado to live with my husband and myself. My granddaughter has severe emotional/behavioral problems due to mood disorders, and to say that I was afraid of how we would be able to cope being under one roof is a huge understatement. I was panicking inside. We like our peace and quiet. We like our routine. We like our space. And not only were we going to add in 3 more people, we were adding 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 turtles, 2 fish tanks and a hamster. And the chaos and mayhem that mental illness brings.

Truthfully, during the second week, when we spent the night in the ER and I had to get WAY out of my comfort zone by standing up to the staff psychiatrist in order to get my granddaughter the help she desperately needed, I was sure that my fears were not only founded, but they were far worse than I imagined. The confusion and stress seemed overwhelming. Plus, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. Between my day job and then this, I felt my artwork would have to take a back seat. There was no time for creativity. No energy left over. I felt defeated and angry.

 I prayed for clarity, for wisdom, for guidance to help us through this rough patch.

And then it occurred to me that I had been handed an opportunity. Instead of putting up a wall in my mind (“I can only create when the house is quiet and I am by myself in my studio”), I could see the wall for the illusion it is, and create a new reality (“I can invite my granddaughter to paint alongside me in my studio”). This shift in thinking allows me to paint while allowing my granddaughter a positive outlet for her emotions and positive reinforcement of desirable behavior.

I created my wall by living in the past (“this is how I have always painted”) and projecting into the future (“I’ll never be able to paint as long as my daughter and grandchildren are living with us”). This created stress and resentment. By accepting the present “this is what is happening now” I was able to see the truth (“I enjoy painting with other artists”) and apply it to my situation. Win-win for my granddaughter and me. As we were painting together last night, and I watched her get lost in the painting process, humming happily along with a Loreena McKennett cd,  it occurred to me that I was going to get a lot more out of this than I was giving. After all, I paint in a child-like way, starting with no preconceived plan and letting the paint and my inner self guide me. Who better to have as a studio mate than a child?

This is a gift from God.

And the Elephants, Bison and Deer? They are the paintings that have recently sold. “Autumn Deer” sold at the Governor’s Art Show Opening, and “Still Wild”, “Bisonic,” and “Out of India” have sold through Old Town Art and Framery. Life is good.