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"Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain." - Eckhart Tolle

This painting was a great teacher. I started it in the fall of 2020. I wanted to revisit the way I used to paint in oils and see if I could combine that with my more intuitive/abstract approach. (Usually, I start with an abstract painting, and let the image present itself, then add in drawing if needed to bring the image out.)  So I started with the drawing and I wasn't liking the result. Too stiff. The deer seemed separate from it's environment. But there was something there, something like a memory, or a dream that you can't quite remember.  So set it against the wall in my studio and lived with it for well over a year. Every once and awhile I'd set it back on my easel, thinking I would work on it.

And  a funny thing happened. The deer seemed to talk to me. She implored me to keep my distance, to move slowly, to stay quiet. "Have Patience," was the signal I received; though faint, I heard it. I have to admit, I am not a very patient person, either by nature or by nurture. I have a tendency to want to Get Things Done. To check them off my list. "Finish painting" was on my list. But I resisted the urge to Just Try Something And Get 'Er Done! Instead, I shut up and listened to the wisdom of her quiet gaze. In the stillness I found solace. I couldn't rush. If I rushed, she would feel too much pressure and would bound away, and I was determined to get to know her on her own terms.

And then a few days ago, she beckoned me. I put her on the easel and she was relaxed. Setting up my palette didn't worry her. She let me walk right up to her and work around her with my brush. Every once in a while I would brush over her edges, each brush stroke relaxed her more until I was tickling her belly and caressing her ears. As I painted, moving over her body with quiet confidence, keeping my mind silent and my eyes soft, she joined up with me and the separation between us blurred. And then, I knew, and I stepped away and we both stood still for a long time, just watching each other, listening to the soft rustle of leaves, the distant birdsong, the hum of bees collecting pollen. And in that moment I remembered our meeting a long time ago on the edge of a woods. We connected then, and again now.