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Have you ever stood in a line at Disneyland – you know, the kind of line that snakes back and forth and doubles up on itself? The kind where the ride is 20 feet away, but you have to move through a mile of line to get there?. The waiting lines at Disneyland are engineered to trick you into believing the wait will be a short one. It is not until you have invested 15 minutes or so that you realize it is longer – MUCH longer – than you first believed. But by now you are stuck. There is no easy way to turn back. Plus, you hold out hope that THIS will be the last turn!

Learning to paint feels a bit like this. When you first start out, you are enamored with what you do, and feel like the “line” that leads to being an accomplished artist will be a short one. So you commit to the line and paint. And paint. And paint. And although each painting brings you closer, just when you think maybe you are getting pretty good, the line doubles back, and you feel like you are starting all over.

When I started my Painting a Day project, I knew that I needed to get a lot of painting under my belt if I was going to go beyond where I am now. There are no shortcuts to becoming a great painter. Like anything else, if you wish to excel, you’ve got to put in the time. I understood this. What I didn’t understand was that by painting everyday, the highs and lows become compressed. Although I’ve been happy with many of the paintings I’ve produced, I am equally dissatisfied. I want to do better. Like an Olympic athlete, I want to land the triple toe loop perfectly, I want to have the fastest, cleanest slalom run.

Maybe some of my dissatisfaction comes from not getting into a show, or not making a sale in a gallery. The external affirmations are important. But mostly the dissatisfaction comes from within – from the internal coach who pushes me and says I’ll have to do better than that if I want to come home with the gold.

Whether you are in the line at Disneyland, or are the athlete practicing to be the best,or the artist pushing herself to excel – there are times when you want to give up. You are tired, discouraged, hurt and frustrated. You’ve invested so much of yourself and you think, “Can I do this? Is it worth it to continue?”

We really don’t know the answer to that. Will we like the ride? Will we be athletic enough to jump the highest or run the fastest? Do we have the talent to create a great piece of art? We don’t know. We can’t know. Unless we stay in line, pick ourselves up when we fall, paint another painting. Push ourselves to persevere, do a little better today than we did yesterday. Accept the disappointments and move on. And be grateful for each bit of progress we make.

"Water Over the Dam" is a work-in-progress. To see all my daily paintings, click here.

Painting #37. I challenged myself on this painting to paint with a very grayed down, subtle palette. I wanted to give the feeling of the moose being camouflaged.

Painting with gray tones proved to be very challenging - I tend to want to brighten everything up! But I felt this young female moose needed to stay somewhat hidden, as a reminder that sometimes we need to lay low and observe, out of the spot light. When moose comes into your life, it is an invitation to explore new depths in your environment - to be still and observe.

When I was a child and spent most of my non-structured hours exploring the acres and acres of woods behind our house, I learned that I could make myself invisible by sitting very still - nestled under the branches of the young trees in the woods. After I'd slowed my breathing down to match the woods, I'd be rewarded by close visitations with crows. blue jays, sparrows, squirrels, chipmunks and occasionally a skunk, deer or fox. And if I looked closely, I could watch the comings and goings of beetles, ants and bees. I'd be thrilled when a snake or salamander came to call.

In my childish mind, I imagined all these creatures to be my friends. I had conversations and learned much about the natural world. I don't remember how old I was when I stopped visiting the woods on a regular basis. When I traded the quiet of the forest for the noise of the mechanical world. When I got sucked into artificial time and the chaotic energy of "reality." But the reality of cars, phones, television and 9-5 has never resonated with me. I am, and always will be, a nature girl at heart.

Painting #35 of my Painting A Day project.  I wrote a poem about this painting, dedicated to strong and proud women who want to break free from whatever cage they are in...and run free.







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She really didn't need
A Man on her back;
She was running free.

Strong. Capable. Warrior.
Traveling her own Path.
Swimming in her own Sea.

But then He offered her
An apple and a bed
And a cage. For Safety.

This piece was completed for the virtual pARTy from a photograph by Kimberly Kelly Santini.

This is the second version of this painting, the first completed, overworked, wiped out and begun again, this time with more attention to the drawing. I ended up doing a contour drawing, and working from that design. I'm happy with the results - very abstracted but still recognizable. Unfortunately, I didn't photograph the first version - it was actually quite good, lots of loose brushwork. But then I got obsessed with the EYE and ended up with a painting of a crude EYE with lovely brushwork around it. Tried "fixing" but ended up making things worse. So out came the old brush, the Gamblin oderless turp, the cotton painter's rag. And goodbye 1-1/2 hours of work.

So I took a quick break, and started over with the contour drawing and then added in value and colors. When the figure of a man appeared in the upper right corner, the title of the painting and the poem all came to me instantly.

Here is the photograph of a Bashkir Curly by Kimberly Kelly Santini:


Here is my second attempt, initial contour drawing:

Painting # 34. Ok. So I'll admit it. This one is a bit, uh...weird. But this is what happens when I go into the studio to paint after a long day. I had no idea what to paint. So I just started. This particular piece started out as a bird, then a landscape with large eggs (don't ask) and then a very simple landscape, and then this.

Painting #33. When Coyote Flashes Red, She Can Be Quite Formidable. Coyote teaches us to flash red when needed, to shape-shift, to be adaptable, to be formidable. To retreat when it is prudent. To learn from others. To form alliances. And to be willing to walk alone if necessary.

I've gotten a bit derailed in my Painting a Day project with life events - but am managing to complete about 5 new paintings a week. I continue to be amazed by how the discipline of going into the studio nearly every day and working on a painting start to finish has improved my skills and helped me have the confidence to take risks. I am really enjoying the small canvases - they are not so daunting as a large canvas, yet the same thought processes that go into a larger painting are still here in the miniature.

One of the challenges has been to come up with enough reference material - I like to have several photographs to start with because I'm usually not sure until I am actually in the studio with the canvas secure on the easel, my palette laid out, music cranked up and mind cleared of the day's clutter what I will paint. I usually just start flipping through my references until something hits me. Then I start painting!

I created this piece to enter in to the Women Artists of the West show. This is one of those paintings that seemed to paint itself. I think all the Daily Paintings have kept me loose and "warmed up." I started this on Saturday and worked on it an hour or so, then mostly finished it on Sunday, except for adding a little more color to the Moose's face on Monday. One of the things my daily paintings have taught me is to be somewhat fearless in my application of paint. Within this painting are passages of transparent paint, which drip and run like watercolors, and then thicker passages of opaque paint creating texture and interest. I decided to go with a rather limited palette, keeping the colors to the blue/green side except for the moose's antlers.

According to Ted Andrew's "Animal Speak," the moose is one of the most ancient and unique of the power totems. When Moose appears in your life, it is a special, sacred gift. The moose has a close association with water, which is the primal symbol of the feminine forces of the universe. The Penobscot Indians of Maine tell the story of how moose was once a whale, and the MicMacs of Nova Scotia tell how when moose is too persistently hunted, it returns to the sea. This association with water and sea is important: the sea is the point from which all life begins and to which all life returns. The antlers of the Bull Moose are like spiritual antenae, tuning in to the life force of creative energies.

Magic Waters pays homage to the association of moose with feminine energy and water. Although he browses the grasses of a fresh water lake, the lake flows off into the distance, eventually finding its way back to the source: the Sea.

Painting #27 of my Painting a Day project. I've been seeing a lot of foxes lately, so figured this was a good time to paint one! According to Ted Andrew's in his book, Animal Speak, there are 21 species of fox in the world. The Number 21 Tarot card is the World, a card that reflects a new world opening up; a beginning of a new creation process. Number 21 is also special to me as it is my birth day!

Foxes embody feminine energy and are masters at camouflage. Their realm is the "between times" of dusk and dawn, and they are said to be shapeshifters. Although they are members of the canine family, foxes are very cat-like in their behavior. They mate for life, but often spend long periods of time apart - up to five months, when the female has kits in the den. If you've ever heard a fox bark, it is a sound you never forget, Click here to listen.

With my Painting a Day project, I am experimenting not only with subject matter and design - but also media. This piece is painted on Ampersand Artist Panel. This is the same support I used for "On the Wire" and I really liked it. For this painting, though, I am struggling. As with many things, the thing I like about the panel - the ability to lift off paint - is also the thing I am finding frustrating.

When I do the background designs, I like to paint the background with thin paint, then lift off the swirling designs, then go back in and paint the patterns. With regular canvas, this poses no problem. The paint grabs the canvas texture and all is well. With the canvas panel, the surface is so slick that whne I try to go back in and paint the patterns, the paint lifts off the canvas, giving me a scrubby look. Yuck. So, on this painting, I'm going to try letting it dry a few days and then go back in with paint.



This is the painting in it's first stage, before going back in and lifting the swirl patterns.



This is the painting after lifting paint for the patterns - which it does quite nicely. And I was able to add paint back in to the lifted areas. But when I tried to add more color and variation to the background, the brush was lifting paint instead of laying it down. So now I'll wait to see what happens when it dries some.

Painting #24.Sea Turtle Flies Through Crimson Tides is 4x5", oil on stretched canvas was inspired by a photograph of a Hawksbill Sea Turtle swimming over a red coral bed. I am intrigued by how bird-like sea turtles look when they are gliding through the water. The Hawksbill turtle, true to its name, has a pronounced beak that gives it its name. Click here for purchase info.

The turtle is one of the earliest symbols for the earth and is the personification of Goddess energy. It is said that if you have a Turtle totem, you must be especially mindful of returning to the Earth what she has given you. Honor the creative source within you and use water and earth energies to create a harmonious flow in your life. Ask the Earth for assistance and her riches will pour forth.

If a Turtle totem shows up in your life, slow down the pace of your life. Bigger, stronger, faster are not always the best ways to reach your goals.Turtle is fine teacher of the art of grounding.When you learn to ground yourself to Earth's power and strength, you place focus on your thoughts and actions and use the Earth's limitless energies rather than your own to accomplish your will.

Turtles have amazing survival skills and strategies. They sense vibrations in the water through their skin and shell. Turtle totems hold the mystery of awakening the senses on both the physical and spiritual levels and can stimulate clairaudience.

Turtles carry their homes on their back. The shell is actually the backbone and ribs of the turtle and serves as home and shelter for it. Those with this medicine should remember not to acquire more possessions then they actually need. The burden of responsibility can become a heavy weight for you to carry.

When turtle is flipped on its back it uses its strong neck to right itself. This can be a reminder to use your own head and inner knowledge to right yourself when your world gets topsy-turvy.

All turtles must come ashore to lay their eggs and they are usually buried. When the eggs hatch they make their way to the water. The link between water and land especially for the purpose of reproduction has great significance.

When turtle shows up in your life, it is time to get connected to your most primal essence. Go within your shell and come out when your ideas are ready to be expressed. The turtle cannot separate itself from its shell and we cannot separate ourselves from what we do to the earth. The way to heaven is through the earth and both are interconnected.

For more info on totem animals, visit Cycle of Power or Animal Totems or read "Animal Speak" by Ted Andrews.

Painting #23 in my Painting a Day project. I've been trying to paint a horse for a few days now; for some reason, it just wasn't working, and I'd have to wipe out the horse and paint something else. Last night, inspired by a painting by Jean Richardson, I was finally able to complete a painting.

These two "ponies" have appeared before in my paintings - most recently in "Return of the Warriors." They always seem to keep one eye on the viewer. As I started to paint last night, I was very cold down in my studio, even with the heater blasting. So I decided I needed to "heat from within" and went upstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of hot tea. I decided to try the tea I had bought earlier in the day - a white tea with lemon.

As I was looking at the box, waiting for the water to boil, I noticed the box had a horse on its front, and on the back the following words: "Endurance. With her enduring strength and unrivaled perserverance, the horse demonstrates to us that even the heaviest of burdens can be carried with grace."

While painting (warmer now that I drank my hot cup of tea), this poem popped into my head, and was kind enough to stay there until I wrote it down.

When ponies were painted they came
from the land of the morning sun. Their
thundering hooves shook the dew from
the swaying stems of prairie grass.
And the Moon and the Sun danced with Joy.

When ponies were painted the lived
in simple places where time unfurled
like a cat awakening from deep slumber
late on a summer afternoon.
And the Moon and the Sun shared the Sky.

When ponies were painted they ran
with the Bison who traveled across
the great plains like a shadow
across the face of a lover.
And the Moon and the Sun moved apart.

When ponies were painted each pony
was a snowflake: swirling, floating,
falling, clinging to the eyelashes of God.
And the Moon and the Sun reached out and
Encircled the earth with their Love.

Painting #22 of my Painting a Day project. I experimented with this painting, after taking two days off to recuperate. I tried a new ground to paint on - canvas mounted on a panel, which is then mounted on a wooden "frame" which gives it almost a 3/4" profile. The other "new" thing is the perspective; I've been concentrating on close-ups, this one shows birds in the distance.

I see birds sitting on telephone and electric wires all the time, and love the pattern they make silhouetted against the sky.