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I always feel poised on the edge of time at the end of one year, right before the start of another... In some ways it is just a symbolic thought: after all, life will continue after the clock ticks 12:00:01a.m. just as it was a second before. But it is that split moment after the end of 2008 and before the beginning of 2009 that intrigues me. The end of the "known" - that which is quantifiable, accounted for, categorized and filed. Everything that happened before. And then - it is all new, unknown. Speculative, in the realm of dreams and promises, possibilities and potential. Everything that can happen. A fresh slate, so to speak. We celebrate the New Year perhaps because we want a fresh outlook, a new beginning. We want to give up the familiar womb of the past. We all take a blind step forward. And in the blink of an eye, the split of an atom, the beat of a hummingbird's wing, everything is changed.

Of course we don't have to wait for the end of the calendar year to start anew. Every day is a new day. Every hour is a new hour. Every breath is a new breath. The very essence of life is change and renewal. Baby steps and leaps of faith. That which we dread we overcome. That which we eagerly anticipate passes by; the time looking forward and the time looking back so much longer than the time lived. And so like an inchworm we crawl through life: the past pushing the present toward the future, in a continuum, no beginning, no end.

And yet we mark the time, the seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades, centuries, milleniums. Do migratory birds mark the time before they set off on their journey?  Or do they just know: NOW. Rise NOW, lift up into the sky as one, as ten, as ten-thousand and FLY.  No compass, no map, no GPS, no itinerary. FLY NOW on the currents that take you where you need to go. No questions asked. No hovering endlessly, trying to decide which way is best. Just FLY, catch the current, follow the path of least resistance. No fear. No regrets. Just faith. That trust in God, in the Universe, in that small ember that glows in the very core of your being that tells you that everything is gonna be alright.

Because if you just LET it be, it WILL be. And if you leap, the net will appear.

I've been asked how people acquire their birth totem. My simplistic answer follows. I am not, and don't claim to be, an expert in totem animals, rather, I am a student. Having said that, here is my understanding. Much like the astrological signs, which most people think originated with the Greeks (but I've read that the study of astrology actually began in Egypt around 4000 BC) your birth totem is associated with your time of birth, and it roughly coincides with your astrological sign.

Most Native American cultures have some form belief in totem animals - calling them by different names, but the concept is the same. According to a workshop I took a while back, you are born with a certain animal as a totem - this animal has attributes that mirror your general way of approaching things. By studying the animal, you can learn things about yourself and how you can learn to adapt your "style of being" (for lack of a better way to phrase that!) to live a healthier, happier, more creative, more satisfying life.

For instance, my birth totem animal is the crow or raven. Even before I was aware of totem animals, I had an affinity for birds in the crow family. When I was a young girl playing in the woods behind my family home, it was the crows and ravens who I listened to and tried to emulate with "caw! caw!" I have always been attracted to images of ravens - photographs, paintings, woodcuts. I even purchased a raven fetish at a gallery in Wyoming. All before I knew. In learning about the raven, I learn something about myself. According to one interpretation, Raven people are sociable, talkative folks, full of nervous energy and fluctuating moods. They are usually very
flexible and adapt well to new environments and circumstances.

According to many schools of thought, you actually have at least seven totem animals at work in your life, and it may take a lifetime for them to reveal themselves to you. A great resouirce for learning more about Totem, or Spirit Animals, is the book by Ted Anrews called "Animal Speak."

In my last blog I wrote about painting a deer for my granddaughter. This painting I'm now working on is for my grandson, whose birth totem is the bear. According to my reading, those born under this sign are usually slow and cautious, quiet and careful individuals. Bear people are generally no-nonsense types who do not tolerate deceit and insecurity in others. 

I hope in giving the gift of art to my grandchildren that they will always seek out and appreciate art in their lives. I also hope that in introducing them to the concept of having an animal guide that stays with you throughout your life and teaches you things about your nature, that they will be open to other animal guides who will help them along their path in life. That they will see their place in nature not as something apart, but as joined in the sacred web of life.

Both grandchildren are nature lovers. They think nothing of picking up bugs and love collecting - and caring for - the wild salamanders, toads, snakes and turtles that they find as they explore the fields and ponds. They've learned that some can adapt to captivity, but most need to be set free. I tell them that is a metaphor for their own lives - that as they grow older they can choose the safe path which has as its price the glass walls of the tank of our own creation. Or they can choose a life of freedom, of following their bliss - a life that runs the risk of failure but promises the reward of true success.

It's not often that a six year old asks for a painting for Christmas, but that is exactly what my granddaughter, Aimee, has asked for. I decided to paint her birth totem, the deer. Deer people are very often clever, talented individuals who have a knack for bringing their enthusiasm to their environment. Those born under this sign love change and seem to be almost constantly in motion. That is my granddaughter! She is a lovely, inquisitive child with a keen imagination and a strong will. Her little hands are always busy and she has, from a very early age, demonstrated artistic talent.

 

This is the painting I am working on – hopefully it will be finished (and dry!) before Christmas. One of the reasons I decided to paint her birth totem is that she, along with my daughter and grandson – and soon-to-be son-in-law – will be moving out of state to north-eastern Oregon. I wanted to give her something that will remind her of who she is and to express my boundless love for her, which distance can't diminish.

 

For those who have an affinity for Deer, here is a little bit about what it means if Deer comes into your life. Deer teaches us to use the power of gentleness to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are in our lives. Don't push towards change in others, rather gently nudge them in right direction with the love that comes from a Deer totem.

 

When a Deer totem shows up in your life, a new innocence and freshness in about to be awakened. There is going to be a gentle lure of new adventures. There will be an opportunity to express the gentle love that will open new doors for you.

 

I'm also working on a painting for my grandson, whose birth totem is bear. More on that in my next blog…

First a Moose, now an Elk... It seems this series has taken a turn! The elk represents even more change, with the addition of color in the background. I'm still using the same technique for both the animal and the background, just this time I felt like I wanted to add in some color to the background. I like the way this piece is coming together.

So of course I had to do a little research on Elk medicine, and found this information on www.sayhada.com.

"When elk appears in your life, it may be telling you to polish your act and carry yourself with pride and power. That does not mean you should be egotistical, however, for elk knows that its true power comes from Great Spirit. It shows off the gifts it has been given and uses them to its advantage.  

Elk holds the medicine of strength and empowerment. If you need to be impressive in a situation, it would be good to connect with elk and learn from it. If you are shy or unsure elk can show you how to become more confident."
 
This seems to hold true, for in painting the Elk and adding color to the background I took a step forward in this series. Onward and Upward...who knows what tomorrow will bring!

There I was, happily immersed in my series of buffalo paintings, when suddenly I felt the urge to paint...a moose? This gangly fellow is currently on my easel, and I am enjoying painting him. The interesting thing about Moose, as I've discovered from encounters with the moose in the mountains of Colorado and Yellowstone Park, is how quicly and gracefully this huge animal can move. And how silently it can pick its way through the willows - one might pass by you only a few feet away and you might never even hear it. When in the presence of  Moose, one can't help but respect the power of this animal. Unpredictable in her response to man, Moose might decide to ignore you, flee from you or charge you.

One of my most compelling memories of Moose is the memory of missed sightings. It seemed like for years when hiking or camping, everyone I'd meet would talk about a Moose sighting. I would look and look and never see one. It was like the Moose was invisible to me. I took a trip to Yellowstone several years ago, specifically to see Moose. After four days with no Moose, we were leaving the Park, driving past the Lodge when I looked down at the river and there was a pair of Moose, big as life, looking straight at me. Since then I've been priviledged to see them many times, once from about two feet away (okay, that was TOO close!) as I was hiking through the willows in Pingree Park. I came around a bend and there were threee young Bull moose. Luckily, they chose to ignore me as I slowly backed up. I watched them from a distance as they grazed on the tender willow branches and slowly moved upstream.

Although I have painted a male moose (only males grow antlers), as a Totem, Moose is strongly aligned with feminine energy, primal and strong.  Moose is also associated with late fall and early winter because that is the time she is most often seen by man. Moose's love of the wet places – swamps, ponds and streams – is said to show her alignment with the receptive energies.  Moose is also associated with the direction of North, which  is associated with Winter, the last season before rebirth of the new Spring. From the North we can learn when its time to listen to what others have to say and when it is time to speak our minds. 

This is not as "woo-woo" as it may seem. I'm actually a pretty grounded person; however, I've always been very receptive to communication with animals. As a child I would spend hours alone in the woods behind my house, listening to and observing animals. On a spiritual level, it makes sense to me that animals would be my guides, as I've learned to trust their wisdom and instinct. As an artist, it seems natural that my creativity is tied to the spiritual nature of animals.

At this point I don't know if this departure from the Buffalo indicates an end of that series, or an expansion to include other animals as they reveal themselves to me, or just an interesting side trip.